couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
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