are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Randomize
