Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
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