i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
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