So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
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