I heard we made out
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
