Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
