The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
