Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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