I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
