I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Are we still banned from the library?
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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