It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
