Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
foreskin is a definite game changer
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
