I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
