Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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