ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
