We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Randomize
