Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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