so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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