is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize