Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
