You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
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