you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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