You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
