Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Randomize