I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
