we have pet lesbian snakes
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
