he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
birth control should be required to get into college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize