He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
