There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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