dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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