she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
