walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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