I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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