Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
