I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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