I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
