i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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