xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
