Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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