Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
