Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
