Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
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