ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
