Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize