so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I'm bleeding and have questions
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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