They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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