The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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