I murdered the dance floor call the cops
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
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Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
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I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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