he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
