I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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