Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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