Barsexuality is the new black.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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