Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
