WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
