I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
