so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
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