then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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