This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Enjoy the penises
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
