if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
